Where's Jesus?

Today I was putting out the Nativity scene that B brought back for us from Israel. It is something that I treasure.
A few years ago I was putting it out and I could not find baby Jesus amidst all the tissue. I remember thinking, "Where is baby Jesus? Where is baby Jesus?" It reminded me that often I loose sight of Jesus as I go throughout the trappings of Christmas.
I have to work. I have to decorate the house. I have to find time to visit my mom. I have to buy and wrap gifts. I have to do baking. I have to send out cards. I have church activities, family activities, work activities. Where is baby Jesus in all of this? Is He there? Do I remember the simplicity of His birth?
Just exactly where IS baby Jesus?

Thankfulness

It was rather a shock that first time we got Bob's meds and they were over 600.00. I called Medical Assistance and they gave some suggestions which helped 'tweak' it to 300.00 the following month. It was frustrating that insurance would not pick up the majority of it. We then got a phone call from someone that said the pharmacist needed to process the claim differently and told us to send the bill in. Taxes are due. Christmas is here. Money is tight. I prayed specifically that the Lord would allow us to be re-imbursed by Wednesday so I could pay taxes next week. Wednesday when I opened the mail, there were the two re-imbursement checks.
My mind went to the story of the lepars. One returned to thank the Lord for healing. I had Edwin with me and although he did not understand, I said, 'Edwin, I prayed specifically that the Lord would re-imburse us today. I want you to know that He answered that prayer.' Such a minor detail for the One who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the wealth in every mine. Today I came into work and shared that answer with Connie. Chad was sitting there. He is not a Believer, but that answer to prayer gave me an indirect way to witness to him. Did I seriously think He would answer that prayer in such a specific timeframe? I asked didn't I? It was the desire of my heart wasn't it? No, He doesn't always answer in such a manner but when He does, I need to share that answer so others know His goodness. I need to thank Him.
Thanksgiving was very nice. Sharing it with two outside our family was a way to minister. Keeping Edwin and Jocelyn all night the night before - not too smart!!

Drifting, Drifting

The past few weeks I feel like I have been drifting. So many prayers went up on behalf of Dryscha's FET and God chose to say, "no". In true Becky fashion, I don't like the 'no's' in my life! Dryscha has always handled her infertility with much more grace than I have. My heart aches for her. My arms long to hold the baby that she cannot conceive.
I have missed that close fellowship with God. Last night as I kept waking up, I began to renew it once again. I have missed talking to Him. Walking with Him. Sharing His goodness with those I come into contact with. It feels good to be drifting back towards Him. After all, He never moved. I did.

Nevertheless

Nevertheless - a word I don't often use but have been thinking about the past few days.
Our prescriptions are exhorbitant - NEVERTHELESS - Bob is alive and the medicines are paid for another month.
Dryscha will never be able to bear another child - NEVERTHELESS - She has 3 miracles and could adopt.
Our furnace is broken - NEVERTHELESS - we have space heaters and can keep fairly warm.
Bob's stress test did not turn out as we hoped - NEVERTHELESS - We anticipate it can be taken care of chemically rather than another angioplasty.

In each case, the situation was not as we had hoped. As we had dreamed. NEVERTHELESS, God has made Himself very evident. He has been our NEVERTHELESS and will continue to be.

Disappointment/HISappointment

Today has been disappointing. Dryscha is not going to have a baby. I remembered that once I read that if you change the 'D' in disappointment to an 'H', you have Hisappointment. I have to believe that. No one would make a better mom than Dryscha. I have to believe that God has other plans for her - plans that are better than we can imagine. Perhaps adoption.
Now we are awaiting election results. It is scary. Again, God is in total control.
Tonight we went to the library so Bob could get a library card. I grew up loving books. I remember the first time I ever went to a library. My grandmother took me one Summer when we came home for a few weeks. I never knew there was a place with so many books! I can still remember the awe I felt....

Answered Prayers

So often we pray, but never really celebrate the answers. There were several this week.
Darlene went to the doctor and her tumor has shrunk from .8 to .4 cm. That is half! She will still take chemo rather than the surgery.
Mike went to the doctor and his scan turned out very good. No cancer in his stomach. That is a HUGE praise. He was very overcome as he shared with me.
It is hard to believe that it is November. Although I love Fall and October is my favorite month, it is also the anniversary of my dad's death and the death of Jordan's baby. Sometimes I feel like I struggle with depression in October. It will also now be the anniversary of Bob's heart attack.