The Secret Place

For a long time I have felt a desire to somehow connect with the local Women's Shelter. Obviously time is an issue. Obviously money is an issue. Yet, I feel I need to be passionate about something. I need to give.

For the past several months, I have been using CVS Extra Care Bucks and rolling them over. I have done a pretty good job and also have accumulated quite a bit of personal products. I decided to make up gift bags with items in them that women in crises could use.

Today I decided to give them a call. I have some hiring needs and thought maybe someone there could use a job. In the process, I could also find out how to get the bags to them. After all, they live in a secret place. I told the woman on the phone about the items I collected. Really only 3 gift bags. I asked her how I could get them there. I acknowledged that I knew it was a secret place. She said, 'Honey, you call me before you come and I will tell you how to get here.' Maybe she could hear the sincerity in my voice. My desire to minister to the women in that secret place.

I had a woman come in soon after I called. Her application gave an address. A fake address. After all, she lives in a secret place that only a few know about. I scrunched up my mouth and told her we might have a problem. We do need a valid address for company information, taxes, etc. I asked her if there was a chance that her abuser could find her here. I told her we wanted to protect her. She was so beautiful. So articulate. So happy. She was almost dancing on her way out.

What would it be like to live in a secret place? To watch out the windows and wonder if the secret would remain? To leave your past for a secret present? To wonder about your future and how long you could keep that secret safe?

If my boss would walk by my office he would see eyes with tears in them. It is only by the grace of God that I do not have to live in a secret place. Today my prayer is that as I someday soon walk through those secret doors, that somehow I will be able to share a very loving Christ.

Walking The Path

Sometimes it is hard to figure out which path to take, where to plant my feet. Yesterday, we had to put mom in a rehab facility, at least for now. As I walked in this morning, I had a tough time. I am so thankful that she was in good spirits. Her faith is strong, and her spirit seems willing to do what she needs to return home.

Wakarusa is such a dear place. A place of refuge. A place that I longed to return to each Summer. A place of such wonderful memories. Yet, this morning as I walked along the sidewalk to Dollar General, I realized I knew no one! Not that the streets actually had anyone on them! Oddly enough, I seldom go anywhere in Elkhart without meeting at least one person I know.

There will be decisions to make. Tough ones. I know Who is walking the path with me. I simply need to allow Him to lead the way.

Sophie

It was probably 20 years ago that I sat outside crying because we had to put sweet Ginger to sleep. Out of nowhere came this stray kitty. She climbed onto my lap and comforted me. For the next several days I watched the newspaper to see if anyone had reported her missing and they had not. She became mine.

Over the years, Sophie always knew when I needed comforting. She loved to be held. She gave us the best Christmas memory we ever had of finding a mouse in our curtains. She was calm. She was sweet. She had one bad habit - not using the litter bpx to pee in.

About four months ago I realized we were going to loose her soon. I fought hard for her to see another day. She fought too. Four months ago Darlene had just undergone her mastectomy and I could not have handled loosing my Sophie. There were days when I thought I would not see her alive again, but she had the strength to greet me each morning begging for food.

Two days ago she didn't come. I knew she was either dead or close to it. Bob found her in the basement. She lived another 48 hours and I went down and petted her and told her how much I loved her several times each day. Today she is gone. My little tidy cat kitty who always knew when I was grieving. Today I grieve alone.

Tomorrow, tomorrow - it's only a day away.

It is probably best that I don't include my place of employment. Our motto since July 21st, when we lost our store manager, is 'Can it get any worse than this?' Yep it can.
Within the past two weeks, I have been involved in two sexual harassment investigations. One resulted in another staff member being terminated. Yep. Another one bit the dust. His irate wife then attempted to run over a woman in the parking lot. Someone almost bit the dust big time.
Today, a repair man was climbing around in the ceiling, He had a ladder blocking the dressing room. A woman decided to go in anyway, change and what to her wandering eyes should appear? I guess it should be 'Who to her wondering eyes should appear?' Mr. Repairman. She now claims she is going to sue us because he saw her in all of her glory. I don't know. I don't strip down nekked just to try on tops.
Tomorrow is the last day I work this week. We always did call it the Thursday Night Curse. I just can't wait to see what happens tomorrow. It's only a day away!

Another One Bites the Dust.....

The unimaginable happened. I know it is not uncommon, but that doesn't make it any easier. We lost our store manager because of theft. It was one thing loosing Chris who didn't 'choose' to be let go. This is totally different. For the past two years I have felt things were not 'right' with him. I asked him more than once about how he was detaching himself from us. I suspected a gambling problem. There is too much to write about. I cannot. All I can say is that I am sad he never shared with me, whom he often shared confidences, how desperate he was...... And, I was right. I wrote him a letter and told him I forgave him. More importantly, he can be forgiven by a God that doesn't categorize sin. And that is the most important forgiveness of all.

Wet in Wakarusa

Last night we grabbed my mom and met Mike, Dryscha, and their boys and Patrick, Jordan, and their kids at the waterpark. There is nothing better than a small town waterpark on a July Summer evening. We had a picnic first. What is a waterpark without food? After playing on the waterpad, everyone decided to climb the huge hill that is used for sledding. Of course Dryscha had to see if she could roll down it. What a mom!

It is always fun to get the little guys together. It always brings back a flood of memories to be in Wakarusa. Happy memories of carefree Summers. Wakarusa is in my blood.

Walking by Faith

Sometimes the road that Christ takes us on is not a pretty one. It is narrow. It is twisty. It is rocky. There are barriers to overcome.

When Christ called Peter to become a disciple, Peter was a simple man. He was a fisherman. Uneducated. Probably a man who wasn't too concerned about personal hygiene or proper etiquette. When he was called to follow Christ, he was going about his everyday task - fishing. He had no concept about theology. Didn't fully understand the verbage Christ used. What he knew was that he needed to obey. After he obeyed, everything else just fell into place.