Today the Hershey Boy that we got to borrow was Edwin. He wanted to spend the night at the cabin but tomorrow is so busy that we had to put those plans on hold. We did get to spend the day together though.
We decided to go to a greenhouse that is out in the country. Being in a greenhouse was a chance to explain to Edwin that our world was once like that before God destroyed it with the flood. We talked about how it was warm, moist, and a place for living things. Almost anything in nature gives us a chance to talk about Who created it!
Edwin had so much fun picking our the mums. He decided that the yellow ones would be best. He helped load them in the car and unload them here at home. Today was also 'rebuild the fence' day and Edwin helped remove the wood out of the van. I pray he always has a servant's heart. A heart that is willing to help. Hands that are willing to get dirty. Hands that are open, waiting for the Lord to give and to take away.
Everyone said that being a grandparent is different in a good way, and it is. Each grandchild adds something so special to our family and to our lives. Each having the potential to be a missionary, to be a pastor, to be another generation that serves the only One worth serving.
It was wonderful to get to spend the day with Edwin. When we took him home, Robert said, 'I am the oldest and the smallest.' Edwin then had to tell us, 'I am the youngest and the biggest.' I asked James what he was and he said, 'I am the middlest.' I told him he was the smiliest -my sunbeam! Just another reminder of the uniqueness of these little souls we have been entrusted with.
On Saturday before I went to work, I got a phone call letting me know we have a new manager. It has been two months. Two very long months for most of the staff. The announcement went out to everyone else today. As I left work, I had to chuckle. My team was so anxious for a new manager. Reality hit when after only two hours he had had words with three of them! Team 2130 did an amazing job. We kept that store running. We are the most profitable in our district. We passed our compliance check. We have done so many things right. These past two months have been hard, but also a blessing. We are truly a team. We have learned to give. We have learned to give some more. We are united. We are family.
Today I got to see Jenevieve for the very first time. Yes, 'it' is a 'she'.
As the technician took her measurements it reminded me of how fearfully and wonderfully we are woven. When I took my EMT class, I have no reason to believe that the instructor was saved, but as he shared about our human bodies he said, 'And now you know why I do not believe in evolution'.
As the tech was moving her wand around, I noticed that the measurements varied. The head in particular measured two weeks ahead of Jordan's gestation. I didn't want to alarm Jordan but I did ask the tech if it was normal for certain parts of the body to measure so different. When Jordan asked why I wondered, I told her I noticed that the head was measuring larger than her gestation.
After the ultra sound we went up to see our dear friend Darlene. She has been having a very hard time. Jordan showed her the pictures and the first thing she said was, 'That baby has a big head!' How funny.
Each year Dryscha and I attempt to go to Frankenmuth and get some Christmas shopping done. She's easy to spend time with because we both enjoy just hanging out and reading. A rare treat for both of us. We do get some shopping done. We do get to share what is happening in our lives. And really, that is the best part. Just spending time together. I am blessed by Dryscha and her tender heart and sweet spirit.
The place for chicken!
I don't even know how to begin to describe Bronner's. Although I have been there about 6 times now, I am still overwhelmed as I walk in. Definitely a hard place to control spending impulses. It is one of my favorite places.
Jordan's pregnancies are always long. Not 'term' long, but emotionally long - filled with many anxieties. It is hard at times to 'be still' to 'know'. She is blessed with a Christian doctor who is able to calm and soothe her. By the end of this week we will know if this is a baby boy, or a baby girl. It really won't matter - we will love either one!
I once read that God doesn't give us the gender we want, but rather the gender we need. How does He determine that? How does He know? It boggles my mind to think of Him and His infinite wisdom. To know that He knows the plans that He has for us. Sometimes those plans are so hard to understand. So hard to bear.
Another little life will be joining our family soon. It is always exciting and humbling to wonder what plans the Lord will have for them.
I left the cabin today feeling very optimistic. It was good to get away. Good to have quiet time. Good to flee the distractions of work, computer time, business. My optimistic feeling lasted until I got to Wakarusa and found my mom feeling rather ill. She seemed lucid though. Said she was sick to her stomach and she went back to bed. I left to go to work. Four hours later I get home to a message on my answering machine begging me to get there quickly because she is so ill. I have no idea how long the message was on the machine. I had no idea what kind of shape she will be in when I do get there. I called Dryscha and asked her to contact the neighbors and gave them permission to call the ambulance if needed while I sped towards Waky for the second time today. God was good. She is ill. but the worst appears to have passed. For now. I am not sure how much longer she can live alone. I feel bad. It is tough to see our roles change and she is just as stubborn to my parenting as I was to hers! I am praying for wisdom. I am praying for peace and good attitudes on the part of both of us as we navigate this path.
Sometimes it seems that life is running away from me. It gets so chaotic. I hate chaos. I love things that are orderly and scheduled. My work life balance has not been balanced since July. I am tired.
Perhaps I will feel guilty, but today I am going to the cabin. I drempt of going alone but there is a six year old little girl who has also been the victim of my lack of balance, Jocelyn. She loves it up there too. Tonight Bob will come up for supper and we will build a huge bonfire. I will sit. I will read. I will get closer to the Lord.
My burdens will go with me. I will still pray for my mom, my work family, my real family, the people in my blog world who are struggling. They are all a part of my life and people the Lord has laid upon my heart. The difference will be that I will also be able to focus on them in a quiet place. I love the world that the Lord created. It amazes and astounds me as I reflect on His creation. There is something about being at the cabin that allows me to do that. I need a few quiet days.
Since July 21st, life has been like a storm at sea. Almost two months have passed since we lost A and emotions still rage. Especially since we still don't have a store manager. We are tired. We are beyond tired. Some days I am so tired I can barely breathe. Mom has been in and out of the hospital/nursing home three times since then. It has been tough to add in the travel to Wakarusa several times a week. Jordan is having a difficult pregnancy. And the worst is yet to come. My grandchildren probably don't even remember what I look like! Bob is not getting the meals he should. Darlene, my dear Darlene, discovered the cancer has metastasized. I am her cancer support person. How can I support her in the way I need to? For Mother's Day, Celia, wh has adopted me as her mom, got me an anchor necklace. She wrote me a poem about being an anchor in her life. I have been on the ocean enough to know what an anchor does. It holds firm. It holds steady. It holds fast. It goes deep into those waters and provides stability. Those huge ships depend on those anchors. Being an anchor for someone is scary. It is serious. I better know that the ground is firm. I better know that I will hold true. That I will hold on no matter how high those waves get. In order to do that, I need to know in Whom I am grounded. And I do. He will hold me fast. He will lend me strength. He will hold this tossing ship, me, very tight. Tonight I am very thankful for that.
I am a wife, mom, sister, grandma, friend, and human resource specialist who happens to love reading, animals,Diet Coke, simple pleasures, being outside, changing seasons, my family, my Lord. I am a private person. A passionate person. A person who sometimes struggles with being still and knowing that He is God. Sometimes I think God looks down at me and says, 'Becky, Becky, Becky'. I then remind Him that He created me totally unique and thank him that He knows my name!