I remember the first time I ever saw you. You were a week old. You had WILD red hair sticking straight up on your head. You were SO scrawny. You looked like a little orangutan. Your daddy was holding you and your little arms and legs were going every which way. How I longed to wrap you in my arms and cuddle you close to me. We were so excited as we drove mile by mile to South Carolina to see you for the very first time.
Six years have passed. Your hair is more strawberry blonde. You aren't so scrawny. We don't have to drive to SC to see you.
Aleyna, I love your happy heart. I love your cheerful, squeaky voice. I love your hugs. I love your excitement about the little things in life. What I love most of all is your love for Jesus and I cannot wait to see what He is going to do in your life someday!
How I miss you! Although we celebrated Christmas yesterday, a part of me was missing - you. It has been so long since I have been able to hug you and tell you how special you are to me. It is important for you to know that I am not with you because I do not love you. I love you so very much.
This past Summer was full of making so many memories. I wish I would have known that they would have to last for such a long time. I hope you don't forget the day we went to the beach, the cookouts at the lake, the water park picnic. You had so much fun with your cousins and yet to protect them, to protect my time with them, I must give up time with you. I know you do not understand, have maybe been told things that are not even true, but in your heart I hope you know that Grandpa and I will always love you and be here for you when you need us.
The most important thing you got to do when you lived with Uncle Patrick and Aunt Jordan is to go to church. Ah William! You will never know how happy I was that for a short time, you got to hear about The Way, The Truth, The Life. You are still young and just beginning to learn right from wrong, truth from lies. Your little life has been full of lies. Full of ugliness. For such a short time you saw what it was like to be clean, to be disciplined, to be taught right from wrong. For such a short time we saw you function as a normal little boy with rules and boundries. I pray that a miracle will happen and you will find the Lord and as you grow, be able to see a different way of living than what you have been used to.
I love you William. I miss you. I am entrusting you into His care because for now, He is the only one I can trust to watch over you........
Oh Christmas Tree! Aleyna's Gingerbread Express! Juliet and Jocelyn. I am rather upset not to see Jenavieve in her tutu! Moriah, Aiden, Aleyna, and the ever present Bitty Baby! James, Robert, and Edwin. Dryscha made shirts like this for all the kids. My Ruger baby!
A King. Born in a stable. Hard to wrap your mind around. I love to think, to ponder, about that day. Mary was quite young. Away from home. In a dirty place. This year Jenavieve was born amidst all the technology that we have to offer. What a contrast. He didn't have to be born. He didn't have to leave the cleanliness of Heaven to come to the dirtiness of earth. He chose to.
The oldest and the youngest. Mom may not use her new walker, but Robert sure loved it! Does this look like calm? Some of my greatest gifts are under the tree.
I do love Christmas Eve. Maybe even more than Christmas day. Traditionally my mom and brother come over and join us. This year we had a soup and appetizer meal. Brad brought Lizette. Unused to our pandemonium, she was rather shocked to walk into the kitchen and see Max and I admiring Mike's new handgun. Really shocked.....
Brad and I got mom a new walker. It didn't take long for the boys to discover that it moved. It was hilarious to see them climb up into it and push each other around.
The girls always love being together. Moriah is coming out of her shell and loves Juliet. Jocelyn still bosses everyone around. Aleyna is still my sunbeam.
Christmas Eve is a blessed time . My family is so dear to me. I especially love seeing my kids follow the Lord and raising their children to honor Him.
Darlene has been on my mind so much lately. I desperately miss her. At our store party yesterday, we talked about where she should be sitting. What she should be eating. The comments she would be making. The fact that we just can't believe she is gone.
As I think about it, she is sitting on the right hand of God. She is eating Heavenly feast. She is making a joyful noise. This is her first Christmas with Him.
She has met that little baby born in a stable. Only He isn't a baby any longer. She has seen those nail pierced hands. She has come face to face with those angels who announced His birth. She doesn't have to worry about what to wear this year - she is clothed in Heavenly raiment.
For the past few years we have had a tradition of watching Miracle at Moreau with Jocelyn. This was the first year she really understood the story and she was intrigued, curious, and thoughtful as it unfolded.
It is the story of three Jewish children trying to escape into Spain. Their parents had been killed/caught, and at a Catholic convent in France, their runner was killed. The children at the Catholic convent were at first frightened by the children and the threat they presented, but as they got to know them, heard their story, they knew they had to help them escape to safety.
As the children led the German soldiers into the woods on a wild goose chase, the French children returned to the convent for their Christmas pageant. The German Sargent angrily demanded that the youngest tell him where the Jews were. He pointed to Joseph, Mary, and himself, stating that they were the Jews. The head nun commented that the Holy family was Jewish.
Jocelyn wants to be a missionary. I told her this is a good example of loving someone who is different. Someone we may have misunderstood before. I also shared a little about the Holocaust and what hatred can do.
Jesus was born in a manger. He is a Jew. The King of Jews.
A new tradition might be born! I thought it would be fun to get together and make a craft and have pizza. Just enjoy being family. I am not sure pomanders were the best choice for our first endeavor, but the kids really did better than what I thought they would. The adults punched the holes and the kids put the cloves in. The biggest blessing - seeing cousins together, siblings together, enjoying family during a sometimes too hectic time of year. Only had one casualty - Edwin who had a very upset stomach.
Our Children's program focused on Jesus, the Lamb. We are sheep. We need a Shepherd. We need leading. We need still waters. He meekly went to the slaughter. He was the Ultimate Sacrifice.
The program was very emotional for me. The children dressed up like lambs were cute, and the 4 cutest were mine. But, to hear Jordan sing again after so long made me weep. I long for my kids to do right. To use their talents to honor the only One worth singing to - and she did. I wept.
I am a wife, mom, sister, grandma, friend, and human resource specialist who happens to love reading, animals,Diet Coke, simple pleasures, being outside, changing seasons, my family, my Lord. I am a private person. A passionate person. A person who sometimes struggles with being still and knowing that He is God. Sometimes I think God looks down at me and says, 'Becky, Becky, Becky'. I then remind Him that He created me totally unique and thank him that He knows my name!