Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Second Chances

I was looking at Jonah the other day and as always when looking into the Word, saw something that struck me and I have pondered it.
In Jonah 1:1, the Bible says that 'The Word of the Lord came to Jonah.' We all know what happened. In Jonah 3:2 it says, 'The Word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time saying...'
How gracious of God not to give up on us. How often does the Word of God come to Becky saying.......and it is not heeded? How often does the Word of God come to Becky the second and even third, fourth, and fifth times saying...... ?
I once told Jocelyn that when I see a butterfly, it reminds me that God is a God of Second Chances. A butterfly starts out as a larvae so very ugly and undesirable, but after that time of rest, it metaphorps into the final product. It spends time crawling in the dirt before getting its wings so it can rise above. It reminds me that I need to get out of crawling around in the dirt on my belly, rest in the Word of the Lord, and become metamorphed into who He wants me to be.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Oh Boy!

Yesterday Dryscha and Mike had a FET and implanted the last of the frozen embroys. How we all pray that at least one will take and another baby will be born.
Consequently, I had the boys. I have watched them all over there, over here, but never kept all three all night and all day. I have a HUGE appreciation for Dryscha's parenting skills. Before noon, James had spilled lime green paint all over him and everything else. Robert fell in dog poop and stuck his finger in Ruger's mouth only to be bit. Nothing too drastic happened to Edwin. yet. The biggest hassle is getting them all ready to go someplace. Loading up those 3 little boys is no easy task!
Mike and Dryscha have taken those three little boys to church since they have been 8 weeks old. They have never 'isolated' them like most triplet parents of preemies. They haven't taken them just once a week, but normally 3 times a week. Always on time. Usually pretty clean :).
It is a blessing to see them sing little songs about Jesus and know that they need to fold hands and bow heads when praying. Those little smiles, no matter whether clean or dirty, never fail to remind me of God's goodness. I remember looking at them all in the NICU, 3 little boys that were desperately wanted, and saying, 'Dryscha, there are THREE.' That is one blessing we have never taken for granted.....and I trust we never will......

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Crazy Cathy

Today I took the girls and went to visit Cathy. It has been a long time since we were together. Not really sure what happened between us. I think for a bit we took different paths. She is probably the friend I have had the longest. One of my biggest regrets is having no childhood friends that I am in contact with. Of course they were all in PR. I sometimes miss not being connected to someone!
In our house she is known as 'Crazy Cathy'. I have never met anyone who gets herself into as much trouble as Cathy does. People that know both of us are in shock at our friendship because we are so totally opposite. All those years ago, the kids would turn off t.v. and watch her. That's how crazy she is.....Now they just worry that when we are together she will really do something crazy and we will end up in jail....
Cathy and I have been through a lot together. We don't really spend a lot of time together but when something momentous happens in our lives, we always share with each other first. I think we don't spend a lot of time together because our lives do go in different ways--I have my faith, she has her possessions. I have my family and she has a family that she struggles with. I am content with little and she must have lots. I am a day person and she is most definately a night person.
It amazes me that in this world, God brought us together. I know He did. Maybe He gave me a little craziness to balance my seriousness......

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Day

This morning the girls and I were driving to Wakarusa to visit my mom. I was kind of tired. Kind of grumpy. My thoughts were drifting to the fact that I had been counting the days until this vacation. I had everything planned out. Where I would go. (the cabin) What I would do. (read, walk, sleep, eat) What I would eat. (pepperoni rolls and turtle pie). Instead I am at home this week watching 5 kids and eating healthy. Little walking. Little reading. Jocelyn began to sing:
This is the day that the Lord hath made.
Not like tomorrow or yesterday.
He made today in a special way.
Let us all sing and be glad.

I love Fall. I was enjoying God's creation. I also love that verse in the Bible. It IS the day that the Lord hath made. I am at peace with the fact that I am home. That peace comes from God. My plans were not His plans for this week but that is okay. I am thankful I can be a blessing to my family. Once again, my kids needed me to help them out and His timing was perfect. I can be off this week to do that. Each day of life is special and for that I can be glad.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Slow Fade

Last night in church we talked about sin - particularly Eve's sin and the consequences. One thing that touched me was the fact that God went into the garden in the cool of the day and asked Adam where he was. He missed Adam. He must miss me when I am not being faithful.
There's a song by Casting Crowns called 'Slow Fade'. The lyrics of that song really touch my heart each time I hear it.

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For its the little feet behind you that are sure to follow.

I have so many little feet behind me. Not only the little feet of my 9 precious grandchildren, but also feet of newer Christians, weaker Christians, non-Christians. I was telling my new HR District Coach that I felt one of my most important jobs was keeper of not only integrity, but also morale.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away.
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray.
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
when you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade.

It is a slow fade when black and white turn to gray. It is so easy to justify our sins. To rationalize them. I think that is the first step. I really have to watch my thought process'. That is a weakness for me. Some prices have already been paid as a result of the choices I have made. I need to discern those areas of my life that I can slowly fade in.....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Seasons of Life

Last night we went to see my mom and afterwards, walked around the walking track in Wakarusa. As we were walking, I thought about everything that had happened since I last walked it. The temperature was cooler and the leaves had begun to change. Some of the trees have 'In Memory' signs in front of them. One of them was for Steve Schwalm, a great guy who was a year behind me and in my Driver's Training Class.
There are seasons in our life just as in nature. When Steve and I were in school together, I was 16. Had just moved here from PR. So many things to experience yet. It was a season of care free days, new friends, new memories.
Since that time there have been deaths, weddings, births. Each one brought a new season in my life. A season as a wife. A season as a mom. A season without a parent. A season as a grandparent. Again - new experiences and memories throughout each of those years.
I realized how innocent I was when I walked that path in August. No concept that Bob would have a heart attack. Our life changes so quickly. The seasons change. Just as the landscape in nature changes with each season, so does the landscape in our lives.
It amazes me that one thing has not changed throughout eternity and one thing never will. God was here at the beginning of each season of my life and He will see me through the last season. Sometimes I move from Him but then I remember that when we aren't as close as we used to be, it was me who did the moving. Fall is my favorite season. Perhaps this is also the Fall of my life and I need to strive to make it a good season for both myself and for my family.
Now if I could just get some pictures to post on this blog...........

Monday, October 13, 2008

Anniveraries and labels!

Anniversaries can be sad or they can be happy. October has some of each. October is the anniversary of the death of my Dad and also the baby that Jordan would have had. Last night we sat on the porch and talked about death and our responses to it and how some days were so hard and some days were much easier. It is also the anniversary of life - finding out about the boys. I will never forget the day Dryscha called me at work and said, 'Mom, there were not two heartbeats. There were three!'
Today I refound a verse in Jeremiah that says, "Your words were found and I ate them. And thy words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart." One of my biggest struggles is taking the time to eat His words. I am such a simple thinker! This reminds me of the fact that in the earthly sense, we have a new diet for Bob to follow. By doing so, his physical heart will be delighted because they are healthy foods that are being eaten. We have to search the aisles of the grocery and look at labels to seek these foods out. To make better choices. That is also true of the Spiritual Word. I need to seek it out. Read 'the labels' of what I am faced with in the world. Make the better choice. Does this book edify the Lord? What about what I am saying to my co-workers? Should I go here? Should I listen to this?
It is just one Bible verse out of a multide of many. If only one verse can say SO much - how much more can I find by simply 'reading the labels' and spiritual nutrition warnings found in His word.

Friday, October 10, 2008

In His Stars

Last night I got home from the hospital and the stars were amazing. I always think of the song: 'In the stars His handiwork I see,
On the wind He speaks with majesty.
Though He ruleth over land and sea,
What is that to me?'
He truly is more than a God who doesn't care, who lives away up there.

Today Bob got out of the hospital. I still don't feel like I have had an emotional let down. I haven't had time. This morning I went to get groceries for our new life style changes (diet is a nasty word), and I wanted to cry. There are moments I want to cry, but cannot because I have to be strong for everyone else. I did almost though when the prescriptions were totalled. Ouch.

On a good note, my mammogram results were good. I hate going for things like that but because of Darlene, I did. I called her today. I know that she was worried, but I simply could not find the time between work and the hospital to call.

Often we pray and never give praise for answers. Another blogger, Marie, asked for prayer on behalf of her husband's job situation. God said, 'Yes'. Steve will have a new mission field on Sunday night. He is more than a God who doesn't care - who lives away up there.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

New Mericies

Today is a new morning so new mercies I will see today. I didn't have to worry about bringing any over with me last night and tomorrow, once again I will see new mercies. Although I hate the fact that Bob is not well, God has shown himself merciful. I just got back from visiting Darlene when the attack happened. I called an ambulance. (The ER was packed that night) The ambulance got him right in. They did the proceedure within 3 hours which is HUGE. I have great kids that were there along with Pastor. Jordan is taking care of the house here. My fellow employees are awesome and such an encouragement. Once our church family finds out, their love will kick in. My new blogging friend Marie - WOW! She has shared and has given us more prayer support.
How many more mercies can there be? Just enough for today. Don't have to worry about tomorrow.....

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Heart Matters

Last night I went to visit Darlene after work at the hospital. I had just gotten home when Bob called down to me and said he needed to go to the hospital. I called an ambulance because I know chest pains are not something to trifle with. Within an hour and a half, he was in surgery. God is so amazing - the timing was so perfect. It is hard to imagine. Bob did not fit the stereotypical heart attack patient. It is scary to wonder about our future and all the changes we will need to implement. But, I am excited to set out on this venture because it is with Bob. God is so good to us. I need to be still and know that He is God and He is in control. Total control.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Truth Project

Last night we started 'The Truth Project' at church. I am not a deep thinker. I normally grab on to something very simple and ponder it and apply it to my life situation. 'The Truth Project' is huge. It is deep. It is actually rather amazing.
If asked why Jesus came into the world, we, I would probably say to save us from our sins. John 18:37 says He came to testify to the Truth. The premise of 'The Truth Project' is to take every aspect of our lives - from history to social, and see it from a Scriptural standpoint - from God's Truth. The ultimate purpose is to gaze upon the face of God. I don't even have the words. To look at each aspect of my life the way God does and in so doing, to gaze upon His face. To feel that coal upon my lips as Isaiah did. I need Him to have my attention. I need Him to have those little corners I don't want to give up. I need to gaze upon His face.
Two of the best things at work are Connie and Chris C. Although Chris C is more like me doctinally, I appreciate the passion that Connie has. Her fearlessness in sharing the Lord with anyone - everywhere. I can't wait to share this with them.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Simon/Peter or Rebecca/Becky

I have always enjoyed Peter. Probably because we have some of the same character traits - passionate, impulsive, feet in the mouth similarities. Today Pastor was sharing about Peter and something I didn't realize is that often when Christ communicated to Peter about things he was demonstrating through his flesh, He called him Simon. When Peter was walking close to the Lord, and in the Spirit, he was called Peter. I wonder if God looks at me and sometimes thinks -' Oh Rebecca. You messed up that time. You took your eyes off me. You denied me.' And perhaps sometimes He says, 'Becky, you allowed Me to work through you. I was reflected in the choice you made.' Hmmm.
Tonight we began The Truth Project. I need to ponder that so I can articulate my perceptions without being distracted.
Jocelyn sang a duet tonight. Now that was amazing. It was just this past Christmas that they had to force her on the stage with her SS class and then when everyone marched off, she would stand and cry. She chose the songs - about the blood of Christ. She touched hearts. Now that is the truth...

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Looking Up

Yesterday I went up to the cabin for the night. I have always said that Fall is my time of the year and there is nothing like Fall up at the lake. Well, there probably is, but I like it up at the lake during Fall! What fun building the bonfire last night and roasting marshmellows. Seeing cousins play together. Walking as a family.
This morning, I took Ruger for a walk. It was somewhat dark out. The path was hard to see through the woods. Obviously it is a dirt road so it is full of ruts. All of a sudden I looked up and there were three deer. They were just standing there watching me watch them. I thought about that and how so often we walk through hard and dark times with our heads down. We forget to look up and in so doing, miss the blessings that continue to come our way - even when things are seemingly dark and uncertain.
Today I am praying for some of my fellow bloggers who are going through dark times. I pray they will see blessings that the Lord will put in front of them if they only look up!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Mi Gente

Today there was an article in the paper about a book signing. The man grew up in Aibonito. I can't begin to count the times we made the trek up to that beautiful mountain town.
Mi Gente - My People. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if we hadn't have moved to Puerto Rico when I was five. Most times I am thankful we did. I know that I am as unique in this culture on the inside, as I was in theirs on the outside. As I matured, I have somewhat allowed the two cultures to blend. I am so very proud of the fact that I am an American. I am so very proud of the fact that I can accept another culture and very easily fit back into that culture. I love being able to understand Spanish. I love having a passion and burden for Spanish speaking people. I love the fact that experiencing the life of a minority gives me the opportunity to appreciate their lives as minorities. Although that land is no longer my land, they will always be Mi Gente. Because you see, I left a little part of my heart on that Island.