Saying Good-Bye

Yesterday it was time to say 'Good-Bye' to Darlene. I have never been to an ethnically diverse funeral. She would have told me, 'This is what black folk do.' Wow! They sent her out with fanfare. There were 12 pastors, 2 vocalists, 2 nurses in case anyone became overcome, and 350 friends and family. If she were alive I would tease her and tell her the only thing people were overcome with was the Spirit.

Mike and I had a chance to represent her family from work and share what she meant to us. I was so proud of him. He is not a public speaker and to get up in front of so many people under these circumstances was not easy. We stood beside each other and reached out the few times we began to falter.

I shared that on May 14, 1976 Darlene walked through the doors of Sears as an 18 year old Decca student. Through the years she had many jobs including shoe department, children's, men's, office lead, pricing lead. But this really isn't about her 'jobs'. It is about who she was and how she touched the lives of each of us who knew her as friend.

Even though we have both worked at Sears for a long time, Darlene and I didn't really connect until about 7-8 years ago. We are very different, Darlene and I. Almost exact opposites.

Eventually, our store went through a tough time when it seemed as if the staff became divided. I told Darlene that in the game of Sears Survivor, we were allies. And in spite of our differences, that is what we became. We got into trouble more than once for making secret signals back and forth during staff meetings with our eyes. Darlene and I eventually became Tuesday night staff partners. Each Tuesday we would alternate between Hacienda and Columbo's for supper. We laughed a lot, shared a lot, and we grew to know each other better. I tried very hard not to get on her last nerve!

One of the things I appreciated most about Darlene was her ability to tell it like it was. She didn't worry about being tactful. That really wasn't a word in her vocabulary. But that's o.k. You always knew where you stood with Darlene. She could confront someone when they were doing wrong and also made sure that they knew that they were appreciated when they did a good job.

I also valued her wisdom. Often I would talk to her about a situation and ponder her advice.

Darlene loved to go to Red Lobster. She loves to celebrate - anything! She loved the times she got to spend with her Sears family just as she loved the times she spent with her biological family. She called Maxine 'Mom', Mike was 'her husband', Toni was 'her sister'. Whenever we talked, she would ask me about different people in her Sears family. She loved all of you very much. She appreciated the cards you sent, the phone calls you made, your visits, and our sunshine box.

I remember June 13, 2008. That is when she was diagnosed. We cried together over the phone and then she made fun of me for crying. I am so proud of Darlene. She fought hard and with a sweet spirit. She faced her enemy head on. At the very beginning, I told her that it was possible for her loose the battle but still have the victory, and she did. Many of you became a part of her army, her team with your support and love.

For the past several months, at 8:00 on Thursday evenings, my phone would ring and it would be Darlene. We would laugh. We would talk. Thursday nights will be especially lonely. Especially hard.

Sprinkled throughout you see many members of her Sears family. Darlene had a different relationship with each of us. She met us where we were. She touched our lives in different ways. We all loved her. Respected her. Appreciated her. But to me, she was my champion, my ally, my spirit lifter, my giver of advice, my listening ear, my calmer downer, my dear friend.

When a police officer has passed away, he is traditionally driven by the police station one last time and the code '10-42 Officer .... now at his home' is repeated. Today I say, 'Good Night Darlene, and thank you for working at Sears.'

Darlene's last ride was through the parking lot at Sears. After work I went to the cemetery for a private time with her.

Last Christmas she was so ill. She said she only bought one Christmas gift and that was this angel figurine that she gave me. Although I was very uncomfortable with all the emotions at the funeral, as I thought about it, I could use some of that enthusiasm when I Worship. Some of that spontaneous show of excitement. They had her casket open as we left. She was not Darlene. I put my hand on her shoulder one last time. She looked far more beautiful to me the last time I saw her in the hospital - her hair beginning to come back, her skinny little face with bugged out eyes. She looked so beautiful. Some day we will meet again - she is waiting for me. That is my promise. My hope. My surety.