Life

This week has been a somber one. I visited the cemetery and remembered the life of Darlene. It was almost as if all of the air was sucked out of me. I still cannot fathom that she is gone. I see her so vividly and hear her say, 'Now you aren't going to get on my last nerve are you?' I probably was - it didn't take much. Her last words to me as I sat by her bedside as she drifted in and were, 'You are sitting here while I sleep. Now that is a true friend.' I knew it wouldn't be long and it wasn't. She knew that too.

Last night - potential of a new life in the form of a baby. Such a precious life. As the young mother told me she hates to think of terminating her baby, I just couldn't fathom it. Praying. Praying. Praying.

Dedication Day

Today was Jenavieve's Dedication Day. Of course, it was more a time of Jordan and Patrick dedicating themselves to raise her to honor the Lord. She is a gift. On Mother's Day, it was also a gift to see my children gift their daughter back to the Lord. I pray that she will find success which is one thing - finding God's will for her life and then accomplishing it!

First Recital

Jocelyn had her first ballet recital! In celebration of 'American Girl', each group represented one of the American Girl dolls. Jocelyn's group represented 'Rebecca'. It was fun to see the different groups from 'Bitty Baby', the three's, on up to 'Kaiah', the twelve year olds. They were so cute!

Spring Has Sprung

Just as we celebrated His being alive a few weeks ago, the earth is showing signs of new life. I love it when Winter turns into Spring. When death turns into life. When brown turns into green.

It doesn't take special effects to thrill my soul. It takes the hand of a Creator.

Birthday Boys x Three

Dryscha had the first birthday party ever for the boys. They were so excited! She chose a farm theme and had so much fun decorating and planning. They got some great gifts including roller skates which will probably lead to their first ER visit - times three of course!





















A treat for the adults - with cow pattern ribbon.

ENGAGED!

Yesterday, in the midst of inventory, Max and Angie came into the store to tell me that they are engaged. They've been together for a long time. They've had a lot of ups and downs. It is hard to imagine them with anyone else. A beautiful ring. A Summer 2011 wedding. Time to pray. Time to hope. Time for God to work in two lives that will make an oath before Him.

"Today is the day"

Four years ago I went to work and got a phone call that I hoped would not come for a few more weeks. It was Mike. He simply said, 'The doctor was in to see Dryscha and told her that today is the day.'

Today - at 31w, three little boys would be born. Three little boys who were longed for. Who were prayed for. Who were about to be a gift from God. A gift that only He could give.

Surgery was to be at 4:3o and Mike asked us not to come before 3:30, allowing them that time alone. It was 31W 1D, a few weeks shy of what Dryscha's goal was but I knew over the weekend that she would not hold out much longer. At 4:30, she was wheeled into surgery and the rest of us waited. And waited. And waited. At 5:30, I had a feeling they were born, but no one came to tell us anything. At 6:30, the anesthesiologist walked through and said all went well and someone should be out shortly. Finally Mike came out and told us that Robert Mackenzie, James Philip, and Edwin Michael Kenneth had been born at 5:14, 5:15, and 5:17 . At almost 8:30 we got our first glimpse.

That was four years ago. Things have never been the same. We love you boys!

Locks of Love

Jocelyn got her beautiful waist length red hair cut and donated it to Locks of Love. Sandy told her how much that some little girl will love a wig made out of her hair. They took her name to send in with it.

Childhood cancer can be devastating. So often I go through life and forget that there are families really struggling with pediatric health issues. Many of them terminal.

I hope Jocelyn always has a giving heart. A tender heart.

Working It Out.

I have a whole 'nother family that I spend time with each week. My work family. I take my job as the HR person very seriously. I laugh with my co-workers. I cry with my co-workers. I pray with my co-workers. I praise and reprimand my co-workers. Each has their own story and each is a special soul to me.

F - The cleaning man. He yells at me for not wearing a coat when it is cold. He warns me about freshly mopped floors after he saw me slide across the floor once after he had just mopped it. Almost gave him a heart attack.

D - Wouldn't speak to me last weekend because she was mad at something that R had done the night before. My bubbly D. Last night she snuck into my office to steal my jumbo jelly beans and called me 'Mom'.

M - My dear M. My partner. My heart grieves for M as he struggles to hold on to a marriage with all of his heart. This week is going to be a rough one at work for M. I cannot even tell him about it yet but I am fighting for him and don't know how I will handle myself if things don't turn out. I have lost too many partners.

C- My sister in Christ. I've tried to protect her job but next week things will change. I asked if it could happen when I'm not there but was told I was the only one that was trusted to sit in on what will be a very difficult conversation.

J - My bubbly girl. Almost like my own daughter. I love her happy little voice and the fact that she will do anything I ask - always cheerfully.

E - Crazy E. So totally unlike me. We have some good conversations and he is someone I can tease with my dry sense of humor.

Some days I come home from work with a heavy heart. A lot of burdens. Somedays I come home from work excited about what God is doing. When Bob had his heart attack, I realized just how special many of my co-workers are and that they love me just as I love them. All 70.

CHUCKIE WHO?

On a cold, snowy evening, Cathy treated all of us to Chuckie Cheese! The cousins loved it! What a treat. Jocelyn was the only one that had ever been there before. I am SO thankful that the mom's went too. Keeping track of these guys was not easy. I love seeing them grow up and make memories together. The girls of course love to see each other. Jocelyn and little miss 'A' went on one ride that simulated a roller coaster. I loved hearing them squeal and scream as only little girls can do. They all wore the initial shirts that Dryscha made them for Christmas. I am blessed.













Two of my three 'J's! Jocelyn and Juliet!












The boys all had fun!! From the 'biggest' to the smallest' Of course we had to finish off with pizza!

Going on.....

Life continues to circle around me. I have learned that people come and people go. A year ago we got a new District manager. He was a huge, bald man that A was extremely intimidated by. A once told me he didn't know what was going to happen to him with this guy as his boss. He made me nervous, and I tried to remain out of sight when he came to our store.
Fast forward a year. A got let go for dishonesty. It was a rough time. An exhausting time. One ASM running around like a chicken with her head cut off. One very negative and nasty. That kind of left me as the point of contact. J and I built a relationship. I contacted him with problems. He contacted me when he wanted things done. I was told that I was the only one with common sense. Now that is rather a shock!
On Thursday R found out that our district has been realigned. We now have a new district manager. Made me kind of sad. I was the only one R told so when everyone else found out, I emailed J and wished him well. I thanked him for his coaching and for supporting me. He emailed me back immediately thanking me and telling me I was the best. We came a long way........

How much Longer?

Whenever I leave Mike and Dryscha's, I see these three little faces looking out the window. How much longer before they no longer care about our coming and going? Sometimes when we get there, one of them realizes that they have company and pop, pop. pop - there they are - those three little faces that we so dearly love. How much longer?

Juliet's Celebration and a Blessing.....

Ah Juliet! I remember walking into the OR the day you were born. I knew then how special you would be, and you are. You are my brown eyed girl. My pixie. My great hugger. You are so loved - by your family and church family. And today you are three! My greatest desire is to see you grow up to be tender hearted, joyful, and willing to do the Lord's will.
The kids loved playing with the big ball! Unfortunately, Robert got in front of it when the rest were behind it. It reminded me of a snowball avalanche!
A precious answer to prayer was that William got to go to church with Jordan and Patrick and attend the party. We got to spend a few moments with him alone and give him his Christmas gifts. I don't know when the next time will be that I can hold him in my arms and tell him I love
him, but today was more special because he got to share it with us.

Happy Birthday William!

Lord -

Please guide these little feet. They belong to a child so dear to us. A child You wove. Please help him to grow knowing that he is loved from afar. Keep him in your care while we can't be there. Please bring someone into his life that will continue to share You with him. Someone who will love him and attempt to guide and protect him. I pray that someday we will get to be together again.

Happy Birthday Sweet William! I love you now just as much as the day I got to see you come into the world.

a Child of Dust

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for he knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103

And then the words to the song:

"Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,
In thee do we trust, nor find thee to fail;
Thy mercies how tender, how firm to the end!
Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend."

I have never thought of myself as a child of the dust. A frail child. A dirty child. A worthless child. A child that needs removing.

He remembers I am dust. He formed me. To HIM I am a valuable child. A child worth dying for. A child He has given new mercies each day.

Perhaps a child of the dust isn't so bad after all.

Snowin' in 'The Hood'

I really do enjoy snow. I especially love when it snows so much that we are snowed in. That didn't happen this time - at least not yet.

Snow is peaceful. It is pure. It is quiet in the hood when it snows. When we lived in Puerto Rico, my grandma would freeze snowballs for when we got home in the Summer. A childhood memory of someone who loved me.......

I love to be out in the country when it snows. A place where no one has walked yet. I see my footprints and think of God. He ordered my footprints. He allowed my footprints. I want Him to guide my footprints - to lead me to people I can minister to. Sometimes people here in the hood are scary. They are different. Yet, they need a smile. They need a Savior. They are the mission field He has given me.

The Dawning of a New Year

A New Year means:
A clean slate.....
Goals that have been set.......
New memories.........
Spiritual growth......
Aging a year!
New 'Hello's'.......
New 'Good-bye's' ........
New projects...........
New insights..........
New discoveries.........
New ministry opportunities......
New dreams.....

One year from today, I trust that I can sit here and have accomplished all of these. In particular, spiritual growth. I have struggled with that this past year. I have moved. He has not. I have been bogged down with everyday stresses and tasks. This is a New Year. A time to grow.